Hello and welcome to the third episode of Olive Podcast. I’m your host Ali. Olive Podcast is all about helping you improve your English skills. I’ve been an English teacher for over 10 years and I also speak French. As a language learner, I’ve learned a few things along the way and hopefully I can share some of my experience with you. One of the most important things in learning a language is exposing yourself to fun content. Let me say it a bit differently. If you find a book, a song or an article that you are naturally interested in and curious about, your mind will more easily engage with the content. And hence, it will be easier to follow through. For example, if you love food and cooking, you can watch Anthony Bourdain’s documentary series. He travels around the world and discovers different cuisine. Your love for food should make you forget that you are trying to learn a second language. If you can trick your mind like that, you’re halfway done.
I try to do something similar with my podcast by choosing engaging topics. Olive Podcast is sometimes in the form of a debate, sometimes I discuss movies and sometimes a random topic that just fascinates me. Hopefully, you will learn a few new ideas that you can use in your everyday interactions and even when you take an English test like IELTS or TOEFL. Today, I’ll be talking about ghosting.
Ghosting simply means to cut off all communication with someone without any prior warning. This someone is usually a person with whom you have or had a romantic relationship. It could also apply to friends and colleagues. If you’re being ghosted, the relationship is probably over!
Now why am I talking about ghosting? Well, a few days ago I was listening to a French podcast about the morality of ghosting. The episode basically discussed the psychology of ghosting and in a larger sense the underlying reasons why some people avoid the confrontation involved in a break up. To put in more simply, it asked the following question; is breaking up in the old-fashioned way more preferable or is it simpler to stop responding to someone from whom you have emotionally drifted away?
The episode was interesting to me for a couple of reason. First of all, I was amazed to find out that the term “ghosting” is used in France and among French speakers. French is a vibrant language and the French people are very proud of their language. To have such a term become ubiquitous in French, is indicative of the power of media and is partly due to the fact that we live in a very globalised world. On the first episode of this podcast, Amir and I discussed globalisation. We really didn’t touch on language and how that impacts our lives.
Furthermore , language, as they say, is alive. I remember watching an episode of the popular series Friends where the girls want get rid of a friend. In that episode, Monica and Phoebe have an annoying friend and they they decide to ghost her. However, no where is the term “ghosting” ever mentioned. They have to describe what they intend to do to Chandler. They say we’ll stop answering her calls and messages.
Friends was on television around 20 years ago. It is amazing to me that in less than 20 years, a concept such as that has been given a label. And I wonder why? Perhaps we needed a shorter way of referring to this concept as in has been more frequently used than say, 20 years ago. And one of the reasons for that, one of the reasons that we have a shorthand for ignoring people, is that the Internet and social media have made communication among people more accessible. the ease of access to your friends has resulted in the fact that more and more people are resorting to ghost their friends and former lovers.
Another interesting point from the podcast I previously mentioned, is that the host believed that ghosting is better than outright confrontation. In other words, to break up with someone by ghosting is less emotionally inflicting, less painful, than telling them that you do not love them anymore. I really have no opinion on which way is more or less painful. To be in a relationship is to put yourself up for judgment by someone else. And that is a precarious situation. Nevertheless, it is human nature. Relationships are an essential part of our lives. Today we love somebody, tomorrow, they irk us. I believe that breakups are part of relationships and in today’s world, ghosting, as a way to terminate our relationships, is one of the options on the table. Is it really the best way? Well, feel free to tell me what you think. Here are some questions you might wanna ponder:
Is ghosting immature? In other words, do you believe that an emotionally mature person ever resorts to ghosting?
How would you judge the character of a person who resorts to ghosting as a way to end a relationship?
And finally, what would you do if you were being ghosted? How would you respond?
To tell me what you think about ghosting, go to olivepodcast.substack.com and leave a comment below this episode. Don’t forget to enter your email so that you can get future episodes right in your inbox. Also, don’t forget to invite your friends. This podcast is new and I would appreciate your help to keep it growing.
I want to leave you with a quote by Oscar Wilde that is not unrelated to ghosting: “God gives us our families. Thanks God we can choose our Friends.”
I’m your host Ali. Thanks for listening.
What in the World is Ghosting -- Learn English the Fun Way!